ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK BY: PIPER KERMAN

 1 out of 5 stars

If I had to sum this book up with one word it would be disappointing. I decided to read this after watching the Netflix adaption, which I actually really enjoyed. This book was a whole different story. I was so underwhelmed by this entire thing.

 

This was all about a privileged woman, who even in prison, continues being privileged, all be it in a different way.  Everyone meet Piper, she’s got blonde hair, blue eyes, and movie screen perfect tits (I’m only referencing things she herself does….numerous times, if that’s any indication of how full of shit this book is). Basically she’s a Barbie and we should all just be grateful to be in her presence. The book went on like this, look at Piper be bored with her fantastic life, look at Piper see a consequence for a poor decision she made, now look at how many people whether they be friends, family, lovers, or random prisoners all give Piper an outpouring of love and generosity.
I get that this was her account of her life in prison for a year, and that’s the main focus, but it just wasn’t all that interesting!! You’d get a glimpse of someone else and maybe a tidbit about their circumstances and then it was right back to Piper and what she ate for dinner, yipee! Or how about, let’s talk about how much smarter Piper is than everyone else, yay! Can’t wait to go there, again!     I started out feeling vaguely bad for Piper, having to wait all those years to finally serve her time. It would be a hard situation always waiting for the axe to fall. But it was impossible for me to feel anything else for her beyond that. I feel like she kept saying all the things you want to hear about learning a lesson from her mistake, but why couldn’t I buy it?!! Everything she said was just that, what she thought someone would want to hear, at least that’s how I was left feeling.
I really believe that after her stint in the big house, she sat down and thought, how can I profit from this? And in comes Orange is the New Black. Oh and all those terrifically wonderful people she met in jail, I’m sure they’re all still the best of friends. I’m confident she takes time away from her perfect existence to slum it with her homies from lockup. It was not shocking to me at all when this book ending the minute she stepped outside and back into freedom. Thanks a million book for making it impossible to watch this show again without cringing thinking about how much I disliked this book.

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